Fernando Pessoa "The Book of Disquiet" (tr. by Richard Zenith)

"Throughout my life, in every situation and in every social circumstance, everyone has always seen me as an intruder. Or at least as a stranger. Whether among relatives or acquaintances, I've always been regarded as an outsider."
- Fernando Pessoa "The Book of Disquiet"

Fernando Pessoa 
『The Book of Disquiet』
Edited and Translated by Richard Zenith
Penguin Classics

Penguin Books, 2003
xxxii, 509p, 19.6x12.8cm, paperback

Cover photograph: Lisboa, 1957, by Gerard Castello Lopes

フェルナンド・ペソアの没後刊行の主著『不穏の書(Livro do Desassossego)』の、リチャード・ゼニスによる英訳。日本語訳タイトルは『うつうつ自閉症日記』とするとよいです。

fernando pessoa - the book of disquiet


Notes on the Text and Translation

The Book of Disquiet
 Preface by Fernando Pessoa
 A Factless Autobiography
 A Disquiet Anthology

Appendix I: Texts Citing the Name of Vicente Guedes
Appendix II: Two Letters
Appendix III: Reflections on The Book of Disquiet from Pessoa's Writings

Table of Heteronyms


「I was born in a time when the majority of young people had lost faith in God, for the same reason their elders had had it - without knowing why. And since the human spirit naturally tends to make judgements based on feeling instead of reason, most of these young people chose Humanity to replace God. I, however, am the sort of person who is always on the fringe of what he belongs to, seeing not only the multitude he's a part of but also the wide-open spaces around it. That's why I didn't give up God as completely as they did, and I never accepted Humanity.」

「It's noble to be timid, illustrious to fail to act, sublime to be inept at living.」

「Everything wearies me, including what doesn't weary me. My happiness is as painful as my pain.」

「There's a thin sheet of glass between me and life. However clearly I see and understand life, I can't touch it.」

「I'll disappear in the fog as a foreigner to all life, as a human island detached from the dream of the sea, as a uselessly existing ship that floats on the surface of everything.」

「The Dreamer's superiority is due to the fact that dreaming is much more practical than living, and the dreamer gets far greater and more varied pleasure out of life than the man of action. In other and plainer words, the dreamer is the true man of action.」

「I've never done anything but dream. This, and this alone, has been the meaning of my life. My only real concern has been my inner life.」
「I've never aspired to be more than a dreamer. I paid no attention to those who spoke to me of living. I've always belonged to what isn't where I am and to what I could never be.」

「If our life were an eternal standing by the window, if we could remain there for ever, like hovering smoke, with the same moment of twilight forever paining the curve of the hills... If we could remain that way for beyond for ever! If at least on this side of the impossible we could thus continue, without committing an action, without our pallid lips sinning another word!」

「I cultivate hatred of action like a greenhouse flower. I dissent from life am proud of it.」

「To discover ways of not acting has been my main concern in life.
I refuse to submit to the state or to men; I passively resist.」

「(...) me: passer-by of everything, even of my own soul, I belong to nothing, I desire nothing, I am nothing - just an abstract centre of impersonal sensations, a fallen sentient mirror reflecting the world's diversity. I don't know if I'm happy this way. Nor do I care.」

「God created me to be a child and willed that I remain a child. But why did he let Life beat me up, take away my toys and leave me alone during playtime, my weak hands clutching at my blue, tear-stained smock?」

「My imaginary world has always been the only true world for me. I've never had loves so real and so full of verve and blood and life as the ones I've had with characters I myself created.」

「Throughout my life, in every situation and in every social circumstance, everyone has always seen me as an intruder. Or at least as a stranger. Whether among relatives or acquaintances, I've always been regarded as an outsider. I'm not suggesting that this treatment was ever deliberate. It was due, rather, to a natural reaction in the people around me.」
「Whatever be the case, life pains me.」





Away with the Fairies


分野: パタフィジック。

趣味: 図書館ごっこ。

好物: 鉱物。スカシカシパン。タコノマクラ。

将来の夢: 石ころ。

尊敬する人物: ジョゼフ・メリック、ジョゼフ・コーネル、尾形亀之助、森田童子。


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